if you show up at my desk – bring chocolate

The flood of things on my mind is completely overwhelming. I went from not being able to write anything to having so much that I can’t get it all out. I’ll try and we’ll see where it all goes.

I got this new job and it’s so much fun. Some days because I get to help someone that really does need it and some days because of the sheer number of idiots that stand in front of me. At this point we all know the rules, we’ve all heard the commercials, police ads, whatever – telling us “DON’T DRINK & DRIVE. It’s the law!”. Funny, they aren’t joking. Why do you think they tell you in school not to do it and show you the lame movies in driver’s ed and make you know the BAC for different things or even what the hell a BAC is??? Because, you shouldn’t drink and drive. Now I’m not perfect and I’m not saying all cases are cut and dry, but jesus people! Is it really that difficult to say “hhhmmm I’ve had a couple (three, ten, whatever) drinks. I feel fine, but the po-po won’t think so, I should call a cab, or a friend or my mom or ask that sober person over there to be my friend and not drive myself.” Maybe that isn’t exactly what you’d say. But you should think it. No I’m not a PSA and I’m no saint. However, in the three weeks I’ve been at my job I have heard so many different stories of I felt fine or I only had two drinks or I was sleeping it off in my back seat or the cop was a dick. On some rare occasions the person may be justified in their thought that a full blown DUI wasn’t appropriate for what they were doing. Fact is they were drinking and then drove. Now they get to see my smiling face when they come and give me money and realize that for the next three, nine or in the case of the really stupid, eighteen months they get to see me and pay me every week. It’s awesome.

On the vain that I do enjoy my job. . . I’m enjoying the crazy variety of people I meet everyday. They guy who was driving his boat and his friend set his beer down in the driver’s cup holder and he got a wet reckless for it. (yes he was breathalized and blew a .05, so technically he deserved it) Had the friend set the beer somewhere else he would not be at my desk. The guy with 5 DUI’s dating back 15 years wondering why the ones tat are 10 years old haven’t dropped off his record yet. Funny, if you don’t take your classes, you will have the DUI forever, or at least until you do. And 5 DUI’s??? How do you not learn from these things? I guess jail and embarrassment and fines and probation doesn’t affect some people. But my favorite are the students that get pissy with me because the classes we offer don’t fit into their class schedule. Well, sorry bro, but you should take that into account before you blow a .22 next time. You fucked up, don’t get mad at me because daddy couldn’t pay off a judge or get you an attorney that had more pull or whatever. None of this is my problem. I still smile and all that, because it’s my job, but it makes me sad that these guys are so arrogant about a mistake they made and should be embarrassed and humbled by.

I think I’m going to design some kind of tracker that I can post to show how many people come in every day to sign up for a DUI class, ask me about when their certificate of enrollment will go to the DMV so they can get their restricted then leave my desk, get into their car and drive away. Hhmmmm. Not smart. But it wasn’t your incredible brain that got you here in the first place now was it?

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About Sars

I am the full time rider/conductor of the Bi-Polar Express (2.oh!) Welcome to my ride. Please keep hands and feet inside the pretty pink car at all times, for your safety of course. Rose colored glasses are not only encouraged, but required.