correspondence or some shit


You are fucking awesome. Here is a list (in bullet form as I am a nerd) to aid in making my point:

*You are a feminist whereas I am not, I say open my door damnit! But you give me hope that it is not a bad thing to be a feminist and are the only person I can say that about.

*You love unconditionally. It hurts to do that, but you persevere and are a stronger man for it.

*You are a good human. You don’t have to take my word for this, ask others or I can provide letters of reference.

*You follow what you believe and stick to your ideals even when it isn’t easy and makes doing something good really difficult.

*You can punk me out but it doesn’t feel like punking, well most of the time.

*You are intelligent, funny, kind hearted and cute, also very colorful, both literally and figuratively

*oh, yeah… you ran 13.1 miles on a fractured foot to give money to a child with blood cancer pretty sure you should get a medal for that – oh wait.

I don’t need to say more but I can elaborate, for pages.

less than three,


Dear job,

Nevermind. My filter is still working.




Dear filter,

Please uninstall yourself so I can get some shit out. I have some anxiety happening up in this bitch and it needs to stop. like now! If you would kindly allow me to remove the gorilla glue so I can just utilize at my leisure I would appreciate it.

now!! kindly,


Dear Matrix,
*not the car

Why can’t I look like the hot chick the ended up breaking her leg performing her own stunts? Without breaking my leg of course. I’m not fat. So maybe I just need to be more bendy. That would be helpful. Is there a red and/or blue pill for that? Please advise.

yours binarily,


dear old ass dude on a bass-ackwards (I hate that phrase too, but really, it applies) tri cycle,
**also wanna-be skater kid, coffee shop hipster and stroller pushing crack mom…

There are rules of the road for a reason, namely your safety. I like to think of myself as a patient person who is understanding. Occasionally you have to endround a rule to keep from becoming a smudge on the pavement, but that is on occasion. Riding or pushing as it were, down or in a one-way street, the wrong way, is not okay and not safe really – especially if say you have a child in a stroller. Rolling out of a driveway, THE WRONG WAY, also not okay. These are ways to insure sudden smooshing under the wheels of my tank car.

And to you specifically old ass dude… I realize you are from an era when dinosaurs took up the entire field and you had to club them with a log to get where you were going and thus you feel some sense of entitlement to take the entire lane… at lunchtime… in the downtown area… going 3(ish) miles per hour, backing up cars for two blocks. But hear me now old dude… You are not entitled to this privilege. Bring a dino and maybe. Hug the cars on the side giving room for my large, but not canyonarrow sized, vehicle to go by you kindly and I will not feel the need to have my passenger door check you or honk unexpectedly as I pass your ear. We can have a peaceful coexistance. Much like you and the brontosaurus once had.



you put up with my blithering… here is a treat.

The Black Keys: Howlin for You


musical tourettes

I’m not sure about you, but anytime I sit down to write, or read, or cook, or clean, or pick my eeer um movie… anything for that matter, in my head there is a song… I call it (for those of you new to my world) my mindpod. And when the little jack thingy isn’t pushed in all the way, and random lyrics suddenly escape through my piehole as the chick drops off my pay stub -think Johnny Kemp ‘just got pay-ed, Friday ni-eet. Party’s jumpin.. Feelin riiite..’ yeah, totally went there. no. I really went there a couple weeks ago. And the best part is only one person in my office was old enought to have heard that song so I had to send a link to the youtube video to several of them (the ones I like enough anyway) So it then becomes musical tourettes without the odd twitching. Its a family thing the musical tourettes, my brother’s version has lots of obscure punk and my moms has a lot of Eagles, Mama’s & Papa’s, and Little River Band and my sister’s has a lot of well shit, yeah, not gonna lie, it has shit. Then I take a amalgamation of all of them, including the shit, and just spew lyrics at random all over you when you least expect it.

So the last few weeks, the mindpod has been on overtime. But in an I’m-gonna-shufle-you-into-the-recesses-of-shit-you-forgot way. Hence the Johnny Kemp. Today and as I made my way to the barstool, er writing desk, I found myself in a Tom Petty time warp. Nope, not Mary Jane, though maybe that would calm the shit in my head yo, and not American Girl, though I could use some lotion right now. Nooo, I had Refugee… nothing to do with anything at all!! I haven’t even heard that song in for-fucking-ever. Well, the mindpod doesn’t lie so maybe my bipolar sensibilities are trying to tell me something? Or maybe it’s ADD. Because just as I decided I needed to figure out why I was trying to live like a refugee, I no longer felt the need. What the fuck yo??? I need refuge! Shelter! Something, I certainly need calm, Xanax maybe? Is my prescription current? I was at the drugstore. hhmmm. then as soon as it came to my mind, the car was on (it actually started which was a feat in and of itself) and the pod did a mad shuffle and threw me into a totally different place entirely …

“Take a drive baby up the coast, yea highway 101
I’ll pass Ventura and Santa Barbara too, just as fast as my motor runs
Gotta pocket full of memories, some happy and some are sad
Gotta girl standin’ by my side through the good times and the bad
Follow the palm trees under the California sun
I believe in love now, I believe in love again”

Now that’s better. I need a break! Work, life, work. I need to get away and take a drive! Take refuge!!! Holy shit, I’m not crazy and my mindpod did not blow a fuse. Excellent!

See you had this fear I injured my funny bone in a freak pizza tossing accident or my sarcasm font had been disabled, Fear Not! I merely took a break from my usual ranting and shit to contemplate the direction my roller coaster has been veering. Its not always easy adjusting to the sudden gee force changes that come with the bi-polar express ticket. I’m going for a ride this weekend.


bithday bs!!!

Dear Weather Control Peeps!
I will fire your asses if you do not change the forecast right now….. I expect sun and poolside cocktails for my birthday. If you want to rain, do it now, don’t wait until Saturday. I do not have a plan b. It is MY day, I should not have to. If you do not comply, you will not only feel my regular wrath but my i-am-getting-older-and-thus-frustrated & crotchety-and-don’t-need-a-good-reason violent side as well.

Thank you very kindly in advance for your prompt attention to this matter as I would like to be very mellow and most importantly war on my birthday.

 <3 sars

sometimes it takes a while

I know I have been radio silent… to a degree I’m sorry, but kinda not. I did promise “something nicer next time” and maybe I set myself up for trouble by doing that. I’ve been working on writing new stuff, but have been having a rough go finding words. I will have something to post soon, but have a feeling it won’t be what is expected. I seem to be spending too much time trying to provide something witty or with some underlying nugget of wisdom – trying to fit some mold of what I think others want. I didn’t start out writing for anyone but me. Writing was a catharsis, a means to release my feelings. And unbeknown to me when I started, was an extremely useful therapeutic tool.  I miss the freedom I felt when I started writing almost 8 years ago. I miss being fulfilled by even posting something so simple as:

hot tamale
mood: full
It has been a while since I’ve written anything, but what better to pull me out of my writing slump than food. The tamale lady came to my office today. The beautiful amazing tamale lady. Why is she beautiful and amazing??? She had chili-cheese tamales and she doesn’t use lard. Oh Happy Day!!!!!! I am sitting here at my desk enjoying the bounty of her labor, toasting the beauty that is the Mexican culture and it’s fine cuisine. My mouth is on fire and yet I still smile. oh yes it will be a good day.

Listening to:Roots
The Israelites /2004
That I posted in December ’06.

Or in November ’05 when All I wrote was
I need more cowbell…

It was easy to just be free. Of course I didn’t post status updates of Facebook and there was no Twitter so my writing was it. I will figure out what to do to change whatever it is that I need to, in order to find fulfillment in my writing again. Maybe I have already answered my own questions.

Until then I wanted to share a about a woman who no one really knew about. She was discovered by accident after she died. Who knew what could have been different for her, maybe she would have flourished (though I doubt her work could have been better) or maybe it would have stunted her creativity. I hope she was happy and fulfilled by taking photographs in her day-today life.

Vivian Maier

I hope today you have a moment for you that leaves you fulfilled. I just did. with love & solidarity ~sars