not playing in the cold

There is a sadness that is hanging thick in the air around me. That positive energy that once was is no more. I talk about it, I think about it, I say I will bring it with me and I do… but when the threshold is crossed the vortex of this place takes what was and removes all traces leaving only what is… sadness. Deep and seeded. I can site the people around me and the marked changes within them, within me. The closest friend I have in the world that surrounds me from 8 to 5 is falling, struggling, hurting, in pain. I hate it. This makes me feel all these things. Makes me want to sooth and protect and be the save-er. I can’t. I know this. I go too far, have gone to far. Those outside my inner circle point this out to me (painfully) – ‘you give too much… you take on guilt that you shouldn’t. you can’t fix things for everyone, and that’s okay.’ But is it okay? What if I want to fix it? I want it to be better, I want to feel better.

When you try your best, but you don’t succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can’t sleep
Stuck in reverse
When the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can’t replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

High up above or down below
When you’re too in love to let it go
If you never try you’ll never know
Just what you’re worth

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Tears stream down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face
And I…

Tears stream down on your face
I promise you I will learn from the mistakes
Tears stream down your face
And I…

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

I’m learning hard lessons. I asked for them, I almost begged for them. I threw my hands up and shouted ‘IS THAT ALL YA GOT!!!!‘ that wasn’t all, there is always more.

get sars for your very own!

About Sars

I am the full time rider/conductor of the Bi-Polar Express (2.oh!) Welcome to my ride. Please keep hands and feet inside the pretty pink car at all times, for your safety of course. Rose colored glasses are not only encouraged, but required.
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