I got what?

Unless it’s wrapped within a cloud of some other story… You pretty much have to ply me potato juice to get me to talk about myself. Well, in a good way. I am extremely good at self deprecation and any other kind of chit-chat where I can defer, distract, or find some way to seque the conversation into another topic.

But this time I have been cornered and apparently I can’t avoid. I don’t have an answer when you ask “who is Sars”? It is far easier to answer why sars. But.. I decided to take the “fuck if I know ask me some questions, I’ll tell you no lies” approach. Well maybe white lies, but only to protect myself against persecution. If you want to know more… Ask bitches!

If you were stuck on an island alone that could sustain you comfortably for the rest of your life, would you try to find a way back to civilization? Why?

This depends of if people could show up randomly like on Lost. I’m not so much a solitary person. I like to talk and have no desire to turn a volleyball or coconut into my bff. Plus I’m pretty sure that your self-sustaining island does not come with a “pleasure making machine” that will fix itself when I abuse the hell out of it because I am a horny bitch and it is my only option. So I’m gonna go with no for $200.

What do you dream of being when you grow up?

I was already a grown-up once and everyone told me I was too serious. Back then I wanted to be a teacher. I had grand dreams of having a positive impact on teenagers (don’t kid yourself, I am a picky bitch and want no part of hangin out with a bunch of screaming shorties or hormonally overcharged Jr. Highers) and feeling like I had helped someone once in a while. Then I realized that most parents are ass and interfere any way they can and gave up that dream. Now I’m not really a grown up, I am a walking mid-life crisis who has no fucking clue what the best course of action is. I do know that I have a great desire to be of service to others. I think that: if I can help, I should and if I can give to others, I should and If I can’t come home from work everyday feeling like I did something good for others or myself then I should not work there.

Which is more important to you, cuddling or sex? In a relationship?

Yup, respect. oh, sorry, friendship. er um, honesty. yeah… and communication. Oh then sex, no cuddling, no.. sex… with cuddling yeah. That!

What would you do if you won $100,000,000 (after taxes)?

Anyone who doesn’t say “pay off debts” as their first thing is retarded. Who wants to be the rich dude with shitty credit?. After that (After 1 – 3 these are not necessarily in order)…

1. Hire an Attorney – Corporate Law that does Estate Planning.
2. Hire a good Financial Planner
3. Hire an Accountant
4. Make sure my nephew goes to the best school in our area and that he knows that education and his happiness are priority. Also set-up his education trust.
5. Finish School – Get whatever degree(s) I fucking feel like and not work while I do it. This has been the bane of my educational career
6.Set up Foundation for kids who have to pay for school on their own – I have fun ideas about ways to give away money
7. Offer to help my sibs finish school

maybe you are sensing a theme, but I really think an education is the key to breaking the patterns of our childhood and giving ourselves the option to pave the path for those we bring after us.

8. Probably buy my dream car and go on a super gnarley off roading trip with a good friend who works for four wheel and off-road magazine, also try to race a tank because my car will be able to do that. HELL YEAH.
9. I may, possibly play a prank or two on some people who deserve it and I may definitely send surprise gifts to people who should have them
10. And of course who wouldn’t build a house? but mine… will be designed around my shoe closet.

Should a species that are naturally going extinct, be preserved by man?

I no longer believe there are any species “naturally” going extinct. I believe human beings have affected the habitat of the rest of life on earth with our lack of respect for her and in turn them. We dump waste and shit into the ocean, pollute the air, bring populous where it shouldn’t be and oh yeah… over-fucking populate in general. And I’ll stop with that lest we get into nuclear waste and global warming and I have to defend other things and end up possibly sounding like more of an ass than I do already. So I suppose my answer is yes, if we can preserve a species in a way that we do not affect their way of life, we should. We probably fucked it all up to begin with so it may very well be our fault they are dying off in the first place.

Do you believe in angels, ghosts, spirit guides,, animal totems, etc? How does this affect your perception of reality and interacting with others that feel the opposite?

I believe whole heartedly that we are each entitled to believe in what we will as long as it doesn’t infringe on the well-being of others. Basically, if I tell you I’m not interested in hearing about your cult and you insist on knocking on my door week after week you are totally making my being un-fucking-well. Beyond that I think that star-signs and birth sign animals and totems, etc are just general enough to be believable if you want to believe in them.

I am certain there is much in the universe bigger than me. I am certain I am but a molecule when compared to the vast reach of the universe. I believe that Isak Dinesen was as close to right as I “believe”… “I know a cure for everything. Salt water…in one way or the other. Sweat, or tears, or the salt sea.” Bitches, Work it out, cry it out or take it to the ocean and let mother nature prove she is bigger than you. Call it spiritual or call it personal strength but it is real if it helps you heal.

Favorite outdoor location to relax? (Including a city, mountain, boat, ocean, thunderstorm, etc)

By a lake in the mountains, be it summer or winter, sunny or snowing. Sitting on the deck with a book -made of paper- looking out over the water breathing air that is clean surrounded by life and love.

Is your downtime better if you are alone, or around others? Why?

Relaxing to me, the times I am the least stressed is when I have my favorite friends over and can cook them a meal. I am relaxed when I am in good company and feel that my friends know they are loved and wanted and needed, and that I am thankful to have them in my life.

In a perfect world, what is the best form of government?

To be honest (and isn’t that the point) I don’t think I am equipped to answer this question. Then best answer I can give is that none of the ones we have are perfect and no one seems to be open to trying radical change to fix the problems they have because no one proposes change without stings. Everyone that has a viable answer also has a personal agenda. Nothing will be solved when those in charge are thinking of themselves and the dollar is ruling those that make rules.

Can mankind ever live in Utopia? Explain that, and defend it.

No I don’t think so. We may one day have the ability to create it though a collaboration of amazing minds putting aside need for recognition. But once it is created there will too much conflict of worthiness to live within it… Hell, we are fighting over whether people who love each other can commit to that love because they don’t fit some of society’s idea of “what marriage is”. If we can’t agree on the most amazing, deep rooted feeling we experience and are willing to deny people a right to share it… I really don’t think we are anywhere near the ability to live in “an ideal community or society possessing a perfect socio-politico-legal system”? Not even close.