Sometimes when you look at photos you remember an amazing time in your life. It’s like re-living that second in time where you were feeling, whatever it was you felt. Here it is in front of you… so vivid and alive. There are the photos that remind you of that split second that you maybe wish hadn’t been captured. The “uh-oh” moment. The “what was I thinking wearing stripes with flowers” or “holy shit I had spinach in my teeth and no one told me” moments. (or worse, but we’re not going there right now) Maybe it’s snap-shots with people you didn’t really like or someone you don’t even know is in the background of your photo.. looking like they are supposed to be there, but….. no. These are the little moments that we can use to paper our walls and give our cubicles flare. We can post them anywhere and everywhere for our friends and not-so-much friends to see. We’ve entered our cyber world of myspace and facebook and livejournal. Where you are likely to stumble across pretty much anything, the possibility of seeing photos you didn’t know existed is very real. You can stumble onto a friend of a friends page and get smacked in the face with Hilda’s Dominatrix World… But that’s not what I mean either.
Today I was reading a post and checked the poster’s page. I saw photos I wasn’t ready for. Not in a “Cheaters- Caught you on tape!” sort of way. Rather a “wow, that’s an amazing image… of two people I didn’t want to view in that way” way. I saw photos of someone I love, am in love with, will probably always be in love with. Smiling and happy, doing things he should be doing, things you do with your girlfriend. Playful in the park, holding hands, a tender embrace. They were beautiful. She is a nice person, and she made him smile. I’m not the girlfriend in the photo. I’m the one that let go, that has to deal with the consequence of that now. I’m the one to sit on this side of the page looking at photos of memories that aren’t mine. I will hold the images in my memory… it’s my nature.
There haven’t been enough rocks yet, to let go.